you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize