Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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