Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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