there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
