update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
