the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
