U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
