And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
