he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
