Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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