All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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