From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My vagina is officially offended.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?