I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.