I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"