Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza