while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
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Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
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okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.