i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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