i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize