is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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