I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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