In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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