tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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