Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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