I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
