I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize