I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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