You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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