I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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