I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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