PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
