Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
