I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize