I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That accounts for only three of the penises
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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