Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
