So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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