His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
