Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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