Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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