I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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