You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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