mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize