you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
