I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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