Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
