i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Never underestimate the power of titties
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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