Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
