my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
