is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
