No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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