I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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