Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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