i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
