I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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