Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
