Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
