Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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