he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
