come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
MIDGETS
????
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Randomize
