Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....