I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.