No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?