There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out