she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
